Love Is Such an Awful Thing
by Invisible120shion
Summary: R-Ryoma-kun.. I'm i-inlove w-with y-you. I, Sakuno Ryuuzaki, confessed to Ryoma. But I ended up only to hear his heartless rejection RyoxSakuxFuji Oneshot


**A/N: Hi, my first official oneshot of POT. Hope you like it~ Please review!  
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_Twilight. Such a nice story. Such a happy ending. If only happy endings exist in the real world._

I was under a Sakura tree. Reading a novel and watching Sakura fall down from that tree.

Hi, I'm Sakuno and I'm rejected by the only person I liked the most. I didn't know that 'love' is such an awful thing. They said that 'love' can give you the happiness that you desire, but it's exactly the opposite.

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_I looked at my horoscope and it said that today was the day. It said that today is the best day for you confessing your love. I was such an idiot for believing that. I only embarrassed myself not only with Echizen Ryoma but also myself._

_I saw him. He was training. He was playing tennis and he was bouncing the ball on the wall. I have gathered all of my courage just to come and talk to him but he had even already guessed that I was there._

"_What do you want Ryuuzaki?" He asked catching the ball with his right hand as he glanced at me._

_I knew he could see me from the corners of his eyes._

_I've mustered up all of my courage again and open my mouth to speak. But to my disappointment, I ended up stuttering again._

"_A-anou, Ryoma-kun… I-I know I'm j-just a n-nobody to you b-but, I-I just want-t y-you to know th-that"_

_I saw his eyes narrowed. I know he was getting impatient but it wasn't my fault I was born like this. I've thought that if we have the same feelings, he would find it cute that I stammer, just like in the movies. But I was wrong. Totally wrong._

_He didn't find it cute._

_He didn't find _me _cute._

_I wasn't anything of what my fantasies told me. _

_I was a _nuisance.

_Everything of me would just bring him trouble._

"_What do you want Ryuzaki? Just spit it out. You _are _wasting my time." He said to me_

_I felt a pang somewhere in my chest. I heard it shutter. I heard my heart shutter into small pieces and that it was impossible to put it back together. _

_It was like a glass that broke. The sound of it. I heard it. But still, I was determined. That's why, I continued._

"_I-I'm.. i-inlove w-with y-you Ryoma-kun"_

_I looked at him, waiting for his reaction. He did nothing. He said nothing. His eyes were covered and I couldn't see his expression._

_I waited._

_And waited._

_And finally, he opened his mouth._

"_I' m sorry Ryuzaki, but I am not interested in love." It hit me. This time, I've heard one thousand glasses breaking. It was echoing in my ears._

_I tried to look at him. But my eyes were blinded with my tears. I didn't want him to see me cry but, tears just ran down on my cheeks involuntarily._

_I took hold of myself. _

_I wiped the tears that seemed to endlessly fall from my eyes and look at him._

_His eyes were cold and blank. I smiled at him. I wanted him to know that I just wanted him to know how I felt._

"_I-it's okay Ryoma-kun. I u-understand." I didn't want to hurt my or his pride at all. I didn't want him to feel guilty. _

_That is why, I smiled at him._

_I bowed and ran away. At the back of my mind, I could hear him practice again. But still._

_I now know what I am to him. _

_I am just a small grain of rice to him._

_Nothing more, maybe less._

_I ran and ran. I didn't care where my feet took me; all I know is that I needed to get away from the place where he broke my heart._

_It started to rain. I didn't know what I should do. I didn't know where I should go. I just wanted to be alone._

_The rain was pouring hard now. I felt really cold._

_But I was already numb._

_Numb…_

_In pain._

_I saw a small waiting shed. Beside it was a vending machine. Since it was raining hard, I didn't want to get sick that's why, I stopped there._

_I sat on the chair. It was wet as well but I didn't mind. I myself was already wet. What's the use?_

_I looked at the vending machine. I saw ponkas in there._

_I remembered, Ryoma-kun really likes that drink. But no._

_I have to forget him soon. He doesn't like me at all. I can't be friends with him because if I did, I'll never get over him. I might even cry in front of him._

_The rain wasn't getting any better. And I was alone. I needed someone to talk to. But no one was there._

_I looked down at my hands. It was shaking. Shaking from the cold temperature and shaking from pain and the urge to cry._

_I decided that I won't cry anymore. Because if I did, it would really be hard to stop it. _

_I relaxed myself and closed my eyes. I felt really tired and I didn't know why._

_Must be because of the entire burden that I've been carrying._

_The rain has stopped already. The sun shined its brightest and a rainbow appeared._

_I smiled this time._

_It's like Kami is telling me to move on. I was now walking to my home with a smile plastered on my face._

_And then I saw Fuji. He was carrying an umbrella; his eyes were serious and it shone with worry._

"_Ryuuzaki" I heard him mutter._

_I smiled at him and said, "What is it?"_

_He narrowed his eyes "I heard what happened with you and Echizen. Echizen told me everything."_

_I wanted to ask him what Ryoma told him but if I did, I might burst and cry again. I don't want to trouble anyone again._

_I don't wanna be a nuisance just like I was with Ryoma-kun._

"_Is that so? Well, it's alright." I said and smiled at him. Of course, my smile wasn't real. I just wanted him to know that I was alright._

_To my surprise, he dropped the umbrella and ran up to me and gave me a tight embrace. I was shocked that my eyes were really wide._

"_Ryuuzaki, I know how you feel right now. You don't have to suppress anything. Just cry to your heart's content. I'm here to support you." He said that to me. _

_I didn't really know what to do. I was really shock. Why is Fuji-senpai telling me this?_

"_Fuji-senpai?" I asked_

"_I know it's shocking for you but I want you to know, I'm always here for you." _

_I didn't really know what he was trying to say. Is he confessing or something? My questions were all answered when I heard him say…_

"_I live for you." For a moment, my hypothalamus stopped working that's why my heart skipped a beat. I live for you? I have to say, it was really sweet._

_He doesn't use the term 'I love you' but instead he used 'I live for you'._

_I am still in confusion right now. A lot of things has happened to me and I won't blame you if you'll think I'm harsh for what I'm going to tell to Fuji-senpai._

"_Do you… understand me?" I asked him_

_I felt his head nod and he said, "Yes, I do understand you." I felt his arms loosen up against my neck and he turned my shoulder for me to look at him._

"_I understand you Ryuuzaki." He told me once again._

_I smiled at him and held his hands. I pushed his hands down so that he won't be touching me anymore._

"_If you do understand me, what are you doing now?" I asked him._

_His face showed a hint of shock, no, he _was _shocked. I really didn't know why I said that but those terms just slipped out of my mouth._

_I was reaching my limit. My emotions are too much for me to handle._

"_What do you mean 'what are you doing now?'" Fuji-senpai asked me_

"_If you do understand me, you should know that, I'm not ready for your feelings. I was rejected by Ryoma-kun and I can't love you immediately you know. I'm just human. I'm imperfect." _

"_I'm just human too and I have feelings as well Ryyuzaki!" I was shocked. Did he just… raise his voice?_

_It was my first time seeing Fuji-senpai lose his cool._

"_I knew you weren't ready Ryuuzaki. But I just wanted you to know, I'll be here if you need anyone." He told me. His voice felt really warm and I felt guilty for what I said._

"_I- I'm sorry Fuji-senpai." I told him. He didn't say anything but he just smiled and pulled me into another tight embrace._

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So now, here I am. Alone. I didn't really gave Fuji-senpai an answer because I didn't like him as more than a friend at all. And honestly, I still like Ryoma up until now.

The pain is already gone but… It would still linger if I would think about it.

And honestly, Being single and not liking anyone at all is really, quite better I have to say.

I'm carefree and happy. I guess love after all isn't really an awful thing.

Because if it was, I might not have learned my lesson after all.

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